Rook and Tangle

Makings

Working downtown I encounter a lot of homeless people. Today I walked down first ave and saw what seemed to be a couple teasing a blind man with a severe developmental disability. I slowed down to check out the situation and the man of the couple started saying quazi-agressive things to me so I crossed the street. I stayed and peeked around the parked car to see if the situation was alright or if I should call the police-at second watch the blind man seemed to be on good terms with the couple, he followed them down the street-had I misread the quazi head lock? I still feel haunted that the couple was abusing the blind man; that he followed them because he got attention or love from them even in their abuse, or didn’t know any better - I don’t know if I did the right thing by continuing on my walk.

10 minutes later I passed by a woman sitting on the ground rocking herself in fetal position. She talked to herself and rocked-I couldn’t understand words, but there were sounds of rage and sorrow mixed together. A few minutes later I walked back down the street. There was vomit by where she had been sitting, two piles of it, and she was now pacing back and forth in front of an empty storefront, completely engaged in her own mind, vomit smeared on the back of her jacket.

After I passed the woman I went into Bartell drugs to buy some mascara, passing by a man with some sort of disability selling Real Change. He spoke like his tongue was cut off or numb, his clothes piecemealed together. As I wandered through Bartell’s his muddled voice range out every time the automatic doors opened: rea change, rea change, rea change, rea change, rea change.

How long, O Lord? Have mercy on us.

New Year

It’s a new year and a sunny day outside. I feel rested, inspired, and given the New Year’s blessing to self-actualize a little more-if only I can stop checking the craigslist free listings. 2011 was a really happy year in the Borgh residence. It was my 5^th year in Seattle (Eric’s 4th) and we’ve finally settled in, evidenced by the fact that I only get lost about once a month, know exactly where to find the ketchup in the grocery store, and have a “gang” of friends (think Archie comics: “Call up the gang, JugHead’s metabolism has reversed and he’s the size of a house!”). We’ve lived in the farmhouse for 2.5 years and now enjoy the presence of the woman’s roller derby and a brewery on our street. We got new housemates who delight us with their fun and thoughtfulness-I was recently handed a homemade pumpkin spice late in my to-go mug on my way out the door.  I’m also learning a lot about being a real adult from them, ie, that standing up in the kitchen eating couscous out of the pot with a mixing spoon doesn’t count as dinner.

We are deeply involved with our church’s youth group as volunteers. For proof I can show you a hair curling technique that I learned from one of the girls during a five hour long hang out session or give you the definition of the word noob. But I really love those kids and being with them adds a lot of spice and joy to my live.

Eric added beekeeping and cheese making to his list of creative projects. I’ve added “learned to have fun” and “am reading again” to mine. I’ve also started playing the piano and writing a little bit more. None of that writing will ever become public, but it’s very reassuring to sit down with paper and pen and find that I haven’t gone crazy or lost my identity: Becca’s still home and has gotten a little bossy lately. Also, after the purchase of a pair of hot pink running shoes early last year I’m up and running again-which is one of my favorite arduous pastimes.

Life since high school felt like a whirlwind, 5 moves in two years, marriage, graduating undergrad, finding a job, supporting a husband through an emotionally rigorous graduate program. The last year has been a culmination of all the work we’ve done trying to make Seattle home and the huge relief we feel at experiencing stability; It’s freeing and joyful.

So from this last happy year we’re turning another chapter. Eric completes school in April and will be looking for a job as a mental health provider (nervously holding our breath until he finds that job) and I just applied for graduate school (to be a therapist-yes, we will screw our kids up), We are anticipating many fun and scary changes. Here’s to a wonderful 2011 and many hopes for a challenging and life-giving 2012!

Thankful

My closeted perfectionist needs some perspective this morning (she’s still mad that I didn’t go on a run yesterday) and so I thought I’d help her out by showing some appreciation for the life I do have.

Thankful for:

Backpacking trips with beautiful weather, hard physical challenge, and people that are different than me.

The sun outside today.

A job at a good company with great coworkers.

My health.

Wendell Berry.

The bookmarks tab on Firefox.

Dreaming and imaging beautiful spaces.

The gift of writing.

Our country’s infrastructure-in awe of its complexity.

Grad school in a year.

Routine.

My grandmas sand dollar necklace.

Sisters moving closer.

Getting to support a living wage for migrant workers through a CSA box.

Recycling.

Three years of hard work in my marriage that makes it what it is today.

Allison Krauss’ music.

Family, friends, loved ones.

Flowers

I’ve always loved flowers in the house, but never thought I could afford them.  However, I’m discovering that for an average of $10 a week, I can keep 1-2 vases of fresh flowers in the house. For all the pleasure and sense of ease $10 a week can give me, I’ve totally decided it’s an investment worth making.